WOAH

(Random beginning-) So I am sitting here starting this blog and Emma was laying at the foot of my bed half asleep then suddenly she rolled off. Ha-ha. Gave me a good laugh. She doesn't seem to think that it was very funny! (End of random beginning.)

Starting with the randomness really fits. The past two days have been a crazy whirl wind of mass confusion. Lets start going back in time to yesterday.

June 28th:
-Worked all day and was super busy. The summer holiday season is upon us!
-Made plans with my Aunt to go to Harrisonburg the next day (today).
-Grandma called and asked for help in the kitchen the next day (today).
-Changed shopping times with my Aunt for the second time to be back in time to help my Grandmother.
-Went to Diane's to pick wild raspberries. Spent several hours in long pants and long sleeves sweating away but it was totally worth it. We picked more than we could ever use.
-8:30: Still picking raspberries and I get a call. I expected it to be my aunt but it was the Principal from LES calling to schedule and interview (woohoo!) He asked if I could come in tomorrow (today) at 9am and I said yes.
-Called and cancelled with my Aunt.
-Called Grant and told him the good news.
-Finished picking raspberries and Diane kept me calm, cool and collect. I really owe her for that because if I would have rushed off I would have worried myself crazy even more.
-Came home and panicked to get everything organized. Luckily I had everything ready so that I just had to review my portfolio and go over potential interview questions.
-11:50 finally decided to lay down. Spent all night reviewing questions didn't sleep very much at all.

Today-June 29th
-"Woke up" aka got tired of just laying in bed so I got ready and suited up.
-7am-8:30am- Kept myself busy around the house trying to stay calm. I still hadn't told anyone except for Grant, Diane and my Aunt about the interview so I debated on calling my mom.
-8:35 got in my car to leave and mom called so I told her. She was excited so it made me more nervous!
-8:43 got to the school and waited in the office
-9:00 Interview began. It went pretty well and was not as bad as I thought. Since it was my first interview I was pleasantly surprised.
-9:55 Interview was complete and I headed home
-Threw together dinner for tonight in the crock pot. Cabbage rolls, yumm.
-Headed to my grandmas.
-Called mom to tell her how it went.
-Texted Grant that it went well since he was at work.
-Arrived at my grandmas and got started on helping her wash down the kitchen. I noticed I was dizzy and then realized I hadn't eaten or drank anything all day. Luckily it was lunch time. I had a really great time with my grandparents and learned so much about them that I didn't know before. After 4 hours of wiping down walls, scrubbing floors, washing and polishing the cabinetry I finally finished up in the kitchen. We put everything back in its place and took a break. It was so much fun to learn more about the history of the farm that has been in my family for so long. I also learned a lot about my great grandparents whom I have never met. Interestingly enough both sets of great grandfathers had worked on the railroad which is what my dad does now. I never knew that before. Also I found out that twins run in the family. They skipped my grandmothers generation so I suppose myself or one of my cousins are doomed. Haha. I learned so many fun facts and had a wonderful time.
-Came home and did laundry
-Finished fixing dinner, had dinner and cleaned up.
-Now here I am, boring you with all of the details of my piddly day. It has just been so crazy but I believe everything happens as it should and for a reason.

All I can do is hope to hear back from the school soon. Fingers are crossed and prayers have been said. I cannot wait to begin teaching, wherever it may be!

Oh yes, happy three years and nine months to the wonderful man that I get to call mine. Grant, without you I would be a total panicked mess ninety nine percent of the time. Thank you for being so patient, kind and caring not only during the past two days but the entire time we have been together. I love you more than words can say and I cannot wait to see what the future holds for us! Hugs, love and kisses; I can't wait to be your Mrs.

Storm

So we just had a totally awesome storm! Stupid facebook doesn't always load correctly so I decided to also put it here. This was by far the most lightening at one time I have ever seen. I wish that I had one of those expensive great camcorders to capture how great it was. Lightening was flashing almost constantly however my camera only picked up the "big" stuff. I have several other videos that are just too cool so it's hard to decide which to put up. Still shots would have been great however I was afraid it would start raining and my nice camera would be ruined. 

Oh yeah, we're getting married in EXACTLY two years. Just in case I haven't talked about it enough. ha ha!

Woot Woot!

So the first day of summer is upon us. Turned out to be a beautiful day even though it was cloudy at times. I suppose that it also is my lucky day because so many great things happened! Lets make a list, after all you know that I llloovvveee lists!

1. Pretty decent day at work. I am working on changing out our emergency boxes and making everything more efficient. They haven't been changed in 10 years which is a bit scary since they contain meds and items that can rust. Metal + Cave= rusty objects in a matter of months. I have really enjoyed working my new position. It's much more taxing on my body as I lug so much stuff around and crack my head at least once a day but overall it is fun and for the most part I decide what I'm going to do every day. Today I partially changed out two of the containers which meant I lugged up two med kits (like paramedics have) and about 70 pounds worth of trash. Hard work but great to know that I'm almost halfway done. So, as I've said many times I am so lucky to still be able to work at the cave and have a job. (In no way does that mean I have given up on finding a teaching position though)

2. Grant booked the church! I am so super excited about this. This is the first big wedding planning thing to check off the list! So June 22nd, 2013 it is. That means that after tomorrow we will finally be under 2 years! Yippie. Now people can stop giving me weird looks! People are quick to condescend those that jump into a quick engagement but are also just as quick to question a long one. Hey, we have a plan and we're sticking to it!

3. I've lost 5 pounds! Yeehaw! I am stoked. I have been working hard to exercise for an hour every day and walk the greenway which is about 4 miles if you walk both ways. Plus all of the physical activity that I am doing at work helps. I can tell a difference in my legs, finally getting pretty toned again. As for the areas that I want to see improvement, they look pretty much the same but I have faith that with hard work it will change. I have also been eating much better. Breakfast consists of toast with peanut butter (which I love) because it tends to stick with me longer than oatmeal or cereal. Plus its quick and easy. Some days I throw some fruit along with it for fun. Lunch is a SmartOne. I have found ones that I really like and they are under 300 calories. Dinner I just have whatever I fix for everyone else but I have a smaller plate. I have cut out soda. I am a total Coke addict, I suppose I should clarify, Coke of the soda variety. I quickly realized that although I was eating better the weight wasn't going to budge if I was taking in 600 calories worth of sugary soda a day. So that went bye bye and I switched to flavored water. That has gone well and I haven't touched soda in quite a while! I have been doing this for about a week and have lost 5 pounds. It has encouraged me to keep going! I also downloaded a calorie counter app that works really well and keeps me conscious of everything I put in my mouth. Some people are addicted to alcohol and drugs, for me its food and soda. Time to break the habit!

4. I have started cooking again! Well, Ive been cooking the whole time that I have been back but now I am fixing what I want. I make the grocery list and plan everything which is bringing back a small sense of freedom. I missed planning meals and whatnot. For 5 years I have pretty much decided what to eat so coming home to fix someone elses planned meals was not easy. Tonight I fixed some great shrimp. Dad said it tasted "restaurant quality" mom agreed and so did I. They were amazing and I have to admit I was bad and ate way too many. Here's a pic. yes, I am a picture freak. Terrible pic but you get the drift.


The recipe was so easy and they truly were just grand. Here's the link to the recipe. I love love love this website!http://allrecipes.com/recipe/basil-shrimp/detail.aspx?src=3801_3

5. It's summer! However, it has felt like summer for a long time. At work I can tell it's really summer because a) we are much busier and b) there are a million more kids. Bring on the cookouts and festivities!

6. 18 days till the beach! How much more excited can I get in one blog?! CRAZY! I just simply can't wait. Grant's parents and brother are coming and it's just always a blast!

Finally, lets wrap all of this gibber jabber up with a count down because you know me along with lists I just love count downs. Here we go:
18 days till the beach
30 days till "Christmas in July" aka my new eardrum/ear bones.
38is days till we find out if it was worth it
53 days till Discovery Day at the cave
81 days till Lisa's wedding
100 days till our 4 year anniversary
a million events in between and finally
732 days till we get married!

If you're still reading I'm mighty proud of you and still semi sad that I wasted your precious time. Eventually I will stop writing novels for blogs... maybe...

Fathers Day!

Woohoo, Fathers Day is here! One of my favorite holidays because we get to celebrate all of the wonderful dads in the world, like mine! I cannot even begin to describe what a daddy's girl I am. He is defiantly one of the most important people and influences in my life. He has taught me to be a strong and independent person.

Thanks to him I feel as though I can conquer anything, especially household task wise. He has always included me in every home improvement  project and the term "but you're a girl" has never come out of his mouth. From him I have learned to hang drywall, put down wood and tile flooring, perfectly paint a room, lay and cut decking as well, fix plumbing as sooooo many other things. He has also been my partner in crime in the kitchen department teaching me how to grill and has baked a million cakes with me as well as invented some pretty interesting, but tasty, recipes. I have had so many wonderful times with him hiking, fishing, canoing, doing farm work and simply sitting on the front porch chatting. He always braided my hair (he had 2 older sisters, lol), taught me a basic sewing stitch or two (his mother was a seamstress) and taught me that it's rewarding to do a job well.

Lucky for me I have inherited his calm demeanor and passion for putting others first. I only wish I had inherited more of his patience and how he really thinks before he speaks. My daddy is such a hard worker and I have always admired him for that. Due to working with the railroad he has a crazy schedule that can call him at any hour and he can get stuck overnight in Hagerstown. There have been days upon days when he has not been able to come home or will have worked all night just to come home, sleep for an hour or two, then get up to get housework done or take my brother to school. Through all of this he never complains.

So today, and every day, I give thanks to the man who played numerous rounds of duck duck goose with me, built me my first tree house, encouraged me to be adventurous and try things on my own, taught me to be loving, kind and selfless. Thank you daddy.

Callie is 3!

So my sweet Callie girl is three. I just can't believe it!

In true girl fashion she couldn't put her new lip gloss down even to blow out the candle.

She looks so grown up with her pony-tail, I just cannot get over it. It was so much fun to pull up and hear her yelling "Meghan! Meghan! MEGHAN!" and get a huge hug. I am so thankful to be her Aunt Meggie and that I have had the chance to watch her grow. She is such a sweet girl!

Grant also got to come down this weekend. We had a really great time. After work Saturday we went to Harrisonburg and looked for clothes for our engagement pictures. He found a nice shirt but I am still looking for something for me. We had CHIPOTLE! My favorite, yumm. It poured the rain so luckily we didn't take the Wrangler because it's topless. Then we came home and grilled out and went for a jeep ride which was fun. Today we went to Callies party and then he headed back to Morgantown because he has a hockey game. While the weekend went by way to fast I am so happy that he had the chance to come down! Being apart stinks, but it makes me value the time we do have together even more!

Ear Update

I cannot say that I have never been an anxious/stressed out person, but I can say this is the first time that I have physically felt that way. There are just so many things going on that I feel like I am out of control. I am trying hard to get this in check because sleepless nights/racing heart are killing my work days and mood.

I went to get a second opinion from a doctor at UVA. At first I thought it was unnecessary as I really like my doctor in Winchester. The more I thought about it though the more I wanted to make sure that I made the right choice. On Friday I went to see Dr. Kesser at UVA. He is one of the top doctors of otolaryngology  at the hospital and he specializes in hearing restoration. On the way to the appointment I really expected him to say that she made a bigger deal out of my ear than necessary. UVA has all of the great equipment so I really thought I would be told this was no big deal and an easy fix. Well I set myself up for quite a shock. When I went in we started by going over my history of chronic ear infections, tubes, surgeries and what Dr. Smith planned to do. He started the exam and got very quiet (BAD THING) and then said, "So she says you have an ear drum?" to which I replied yes and that she planned to put a tube through my remaining eardrum. He then informed me that I have NO, yes I said NO, ear drum at all. Apparently I have a "tiny scab" of an eardrum. Less than 5%. He also went on to tell me that I had erosion of the first bone in my ear (you have 3 to conduct the sound) and that he could see back to my second bone but he couldn't tell if that one was ok or not. I was completely blown away. Luckily he stepped out to look for my audiology report because I lost it. Here I was thinking that I had a hole no bigger than 40% and perfectly healthy ear bones. She told me that was my bright spot! Well I pulled myself together and my dad looked just as shocked as I was. Him being upset made me even more upset. I just couldn't understand how she could be THAT wrong. That I had trusted her for the past 4 years to treat me and here I am with a problem way worse than I ever expected. But anyway, the doctor came back in and said my hearing test came back as he expected, terrible. 

We went over my options which were pretty much the same as before except the surgery was a bit more complicated. The surgery cannot be done through my ear canal, it must be opened from behind (I made him promise to put it back in the right spot, ha-ha). The skin graft would need to be much larger making for a bigger bald spot/incision on my head. Luckily Lisa doesn't mind me looking like the Bride of Frankenstein at her wedding in September. It should be an outpatient surgery unless something would go wrong. He would make me a new ear drum and check out the other ear bones while he is in there. He informed me that if something is wrong with my 3rd ear bone it would require a separate surgery in 6 months. It would need to wait because doing both operations would put me at too high of a risk for infection which could travel to my cochlea and I would be permanently deaf in that ear. That bone would also be replaced with a prosthetic ear bone. We will not know what bones 2 and 3 look like until he performs the operation. I've decided not to worry about that and will deal with it if and when the time comes.

Overall I am very confident in Dr. Kesser. He seems like a great doctor and really knows what he is talking about. Also, I feel much better about having it done at UVA as my experience with Winchester Hospital hasn't always been the greatest. Hopefully Grant will be able to come up for a day or two, then I will have something to look forward to even if I do look like a mummy! 

I am trying hard to just forget about it and look forward to my beach vacation that is coming up. Between this, work, job hunting, helping my grandparents, my brothers issues and other family things I am just stressed to the max. I need to learn to just relax and let it be. I'm trying hard to get ahead at work so that I do not fall behind when I have to take 2 weeks off in July. In 2 weeks I have worked 100+ hours, but hey, the paycheck will be worth it right!

Lets end this novel of a blog with one of my favorite StoryPeople quotes:

Make sure you got clean underwear, she always said, in case you get in an accident & 

I always figured that'd be the least of my worries, 

but now I'm older & I see there's a lot you can't control & 

some you can control & clean underwear is one of those you can. 

For the most part.

The silly thing is that my Mamaw always mentioned the importance of wearing clean undies when you go out. Ha-ha.

Tympanoplasty

So today I went back to the ear doctor and as usual I have more hearing loss in mt left ear. My right ear seems to be staying about the same hovering between normal and mild hearing loss. The left ear though basically sucks at doing its job which makes it fall in the extream (step before deaf) range. I only have about 50% of my left ear drum which is letting sound through instead of being conducted properly. Luckily everything else looks ok, it's just the eardrum. So, here is the decision I have to make. Do I 1. Have surgery to have it repaired or 2. get a hearing aid.

1. Surgery- This surgery would be in the hospital and not in the office as all of my others have been. Thinking of the O.R. alone makes me feel a little queasy. I have already essentially had this surgery to a smaller degree. Dr. Smith made a paper patch which she applied after "roughing up" the hole to promote cell growth and natural hole coverage. That failed; within 2 weeks the patch fell out. Also while the patch was in I had constant ear infections. Since my ear sucks so bad it doesn't drain well on its own so a small hole is needed to be ear infection free. In doing this surgery she would use a skin graft, which would come from the area around my ear, to make me a new ear drum. She would also remove as much scar tissue, as it inhibits proper sound conduction, as possible which would make the hole bigger then patch it all using the skin graft. Above and below the graft would be a gel that holds it into place while it heals. The gel lasts about 2 weeks before it dissolves on its own. The gel is needed to sandwich the graft in place because stitches/glue cannot be used. This is called a tympanoplasty. Oh, and I would have another tube put in the small part of the eardrum that is original because I have way too many ear infections without it.

The Ups- This could fix the problem and reduce the hole getting bigger which would lead to more hearing loss. Also may avoid a hearing aid.

The Downs- The graft may not take and I'm left with about 20% of an eardrum which would make my hearing even worse or lose hearing completely in my left ear. Oh, and that new tube... it has a chance of falling out (or backwards) as the other 7 did. That leaves another risk of infection and another hole.

2. Hearing Aid- Nothing really to explain, I just get a hearing aid and I can hear.

The Ups- Since the hole in my ear does not exceed 70% I can have a hearing aid and the chances of it working are very good.

The Downs- it doesn't fix the problem but the hearing aid itself doesn't make it worse. The hole has a chance of becoming bigger on its own which would possibly mean that a hearing aid may not help at all. At that point I have no clue what comes after that.

3. Do nothing- This isn't even an option to me. I have a terrible time hearing and it causes me to second guess everything I hear and makes me avoid lots of places that I enjoy going. It also effects work. More than 3 people talking sounds like a roar because the lack of eardrum causes sounds to be misfired to the rest of my ear. I hear lots of strange noises because of this. Also, I am just not comfortable. I constantly check behind me because I never know if someone/something is behind me. I simply don't hear things that are back there. I would also have a better peace of mind knowing that I at least tried something, whatever it may be. I'm tired of answering questions incorrectly, such as "how are you today" sounds like "have a nice day" most of the time to which I reply "you too" and get strange looks. I could go on and on about the frequent mix-ups.


I'm a picture person, so here is an idea of what my ear drum looks like, but mine has a bigger hole:


And normal:


Gross huh?

Not that you're interested, but here is an informational link: (I'm a teacher, I can't help it. Pictures and info are my thing!)
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/003014.htm

So, that's the decision I have to make. It sucks, but life goes on either way. Perhaps this is random but I've lately been interested in prayers and this happens to be my new favorite, I think it's fitting.

Dear Lord, I do not know what will happen to me today.
I only know that nothing will happen that was not foreseen by You,
and directed to my greater good from all eternity.
I adore Your holy and unfathomable plans,
and submit to them with all my heart for love of You,
the Pope, and the Immaculate Heart of Mary.
Amen.