Tympanoplasty

So today I went back to the ear doctor and as usual I have more hearing loss in mt left ear. My right ear seems to be staying about the same hovering between normal and mild hearing loss. The left ear though basically sucks at doing its job which makes it fall in the extream (step before deaf) range. I only have about 50% of my left ear drum which is letting sound through instead of being conducted properly. Luckily everything else looks ok, it's just the eardrum. So, here is the decision I have to make. Do I 1. Have surgery to have it repaired or 2. get a hearing aid.

1. Surgery- This surgery would be in the hospital and not in the office as all of my others have been. Thinking of the O.R. alone makes me feel a little queasy. I have already essentially had this surgery to a smaller degree. Dr. Smith made a paper patch which she applied after "roughing up" the hole to promote cell growth and natural hole coverage. That failed; within 2 weeks the patch fell out. Also while the patch was in I had constant ear infections. Since my ear sucks so bad it doesn't drain well on its own so a small hole is needed to be ear infection free. In doing this surgery she would use a skin graft, which would come from the area around my ear, to make me a new ear drum. She would also remove as much scar tissue, as it inhibits proper sound conduction, as possible which would make the hole bigger then patch it all using the skin graft. Above and below the graft would be a gel that holds it into place while it heals. The gel lasts about 2 weeks before it dissolves on its own. The gel is needed to sandwich the graft in place because stitches/glue cannot be used. This is called a tympanoplasty. Oh, and I would have another tube put in the small part of the eardrum that is original because I have way too many ear infections without it.

The Ups- This could fix the problem and reduce the hole getting bigger which would lead to more hearing loss. Also may avoid a hearing aid.

The Downs- The graft may not take and I'm left with about 20% of an eardrum which would make my hearing even worse or lose hearing completely in my left ear. Oh, and that new tube... it has a chance of falling out (or backwards) as the other 7 did. That leaves another risk of infection and another hole.

2. Hearing Aid- Nothing really to explain, I just get a hearing aid and I can hear.

The Ups- Since the hole in my ear does not exceed 70% I can have a hearing aid and the chances of it working are very good.

The Downs- it doesn't fix the problem but the hearing aid itself doesn't make it worse. The hole has a chance of becoming bigger on its own which would possibly mean that a hearing aid may not help at all. At that point I have no clue what comes after that.

3. Do nothing- This isn't even an option to me. I have a terrible time hearing and it causes me to second guess everything I hear and makes me avoid lots of places that I enjoy going. It also effects work. More than 3 people talking sounds like a roar because the lack of eardrum causes sounds to be misfired to the rest of my ear. I hear lots of strange noises because of this. Also, I am just not comfortable. I constantly check behind me because I never know if someone/something is behind me. I simply don't hear things that are back there. I would also have a better peace of mind knowing that I at least tried something, whatever it may be. I'm tired of answering questions incorrectly, such as "how are you today" sounds like "have a nice day" most of the time to which I reply "you too" and get strange looks. I could go on and on about the frequent mix-ups.


I'm a picture person, so here is an idea of what my ear drum looks like, but mine has a bigger hole:


And normal:


Gross huh?

Not that you're interested, but here is an informational link: (I'm a teacher, I can't help it. Pictures and info are my thing!)
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/003014.htm

So, that's the decision I have to make. It sucks, but life goes on either way. Perhaps this is random but I've lately been interested in prayers and this happens to be my new favorite, I think it's fitting.

Dear Lord, I do not know what will happen to me today.
I only know that nothing will happen that was not foreseen by You,
and directed to my greater good from all eternity.
I adore Your holy and unfathomable plans,
and submit to them with all my heart for love of You,
the Pope, and the Immaculate Heart of Mary.
Amen.